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Roleplayer's Off Topic Thread #36


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I know we rightfully crap on the Blades, but before Oblivion were they really that incompetent? Lets look at their failures. I'll only list things I know, so if they fuckup hard in the books, I hadn't read any.

Jagar Tharn, enough said. Strike one.

Akavir was far too much of an unknown, but they didn't have the authority or probably inclination to call of Uriel's invasion. What they should have seen coming was the rebellion of Black Harbor, were those legions not tying that up we might still have an Imperial Far Eastern province. That's strike two.

I cannot blame the Blades for the Warp in the West, that was some cosmic scale fuckery. But there's a personal strike against The Agent for giving the Totem to Mannimarco, who soon after became Moonimarco.

I'm uncertain if I should give a point to the Blades for the handling of Morrowind, or a personal point to Uriel Septim. But they followed out his orders, were probably behind all of the failed incarnations too so they've been hard at work and it paid off in the end.

There's absolutely no excuse for the Oblivion Crisis. I don't think there's any evidence that the mythic dawn agents were teleporting in all across the Imperial City, they straight up infiltrated, overwhelmed and slaughtered the Imperial Family. There's no bigger fuckup for the supposed elite intelligence behind the emperor. Strike fucking three.

Okay maybe they deserve all the hate XD

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1 hour ago, TheCzarsHussar said:

I know we rightfully crap on the Blades, but before Oblivion were they really that incompetent?

People only crap on the Blades because of Oblivion. They accidentally did more to wipe out the Septims than the Mythic freaking Dawn. XD 

Before that, they were pretty rad. And even after that, Delphine and Esbern are quite competent even if fans dislike them for their attitude and goals.

1 hour ago, TheCzarsHussar said:

But they followed out his orders, were probably behind all of the failed incarnations too so they've been hard at work and it paid off in the end.

Most of the failed Incarnates predate the Septim Empire. Those were mainly Ashlander screwups. 
 

The Blades aren’t helped by Mede’s Penitus Chadculatus swooping in five minutes after their greatest failure and doing all kinds of awesome shit.

-Assassinated Mede’s political rivals
-Took out a necromancer lord who fashioned himself the next King of Worms
-Uncovered and eliminated the culprits behind the Umbriel Crisis, also saved the Crown Prince
-Discovered the last remaining Dark Brotherhood sanctuary, made a chump out of their leader with a double cross, and wiped them out down to just three-four members.

The Penitus Oculatus only lose a point for failing to protect Titus II, but what the hell could they possibly have done once a damned Dragonborn Listener marked him for death?

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2 hours ago, Centurion said:

On of my favorite things to do is after Caius gets called back to Cyrodiil, I make a pilgrimage to each blade in the province and murder them. I’m am the Hortator and Nerevarine, not some imperial lackey. Off with their heads

This. This is why you don’t recruit death row inmates to be your secret agents, Uriel

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59 minutes ago, The Good Doctor said:

This. This is why you don’t recruit death row inmates to be your secret agents, Uriel

"Uriel... what exactly was that prisoner you sent to Morrowind charged with again?"

"Nothing much, only eight counts of assault with intent of necrophilia, one and a half counts of attempted genocide. And a parking violation."

"You're fucking senile."

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4 minutes ago, The Good Doctor said:

Let’s be real. No way he was ever going to play it on his own anyway. XD And GRRM knows the meme. He’s just playing into it here. 

All the games he mentions liking are RTS's, so it's a given XD It'd be hilarious if he did a twitch stream of him trying to play live though

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1 minute ago, BigBossBalrog said:

All the games he mentions liking are RTS's, so it's a given XD It'd be hilarious if he did a twitch stream of him trying to play live though

Remember when Brandon Sanderson did that? He was actually halfway decent at Elden Ring, considering that he streamed while exploring the Consecrated Snowfield.

Watching GRRM would probably be like watching my Dad play Halo 3 back in the day. 

Walk forward ten steps. Stop. Turn in new direction. Walk forward five steps. Stop. Turn. Shoot enemy. Turn. Die.

I doubt he could get out of Limgrave. XD 

  • Haha 1

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5 minutes ago, The Good Doctor said:

Remember when Brandon Sanderson did that? He was actually halfway decent at Elden Ring, considering that he streamed while exploring the Consecrated Snowfield.

Watching GRRM would probably be like watching my Dad play Halo 3 back in the day. 

Walk forward ten steps. Stop. Turn in new direction. Walk forward five steps. Stop. Turn. Shoot enemy. Turn. Die.

I doubt he could get out of Limgrave. XD 

He still posts video essays on it occasionally, he's decent playing! He claims to have been a fan of FROMsoft since Kingsfield, so he better be able to play decently XD

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21 minutes ago, BigBossBalrog said:

He still posts video essays on it occasionally, he's decent playing! He claims to have been a fan of FROMsoft since Kingsfield, so he better be able to play decently XD

Dang. Guy’s an OG fan. :lol: Have you read any of his books? I’ve heard good things about them.

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