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Shattered Steel OOC #1


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I wanted to publicly thank @Witchking of Angmar for these awesome drawings of Lawrence and Alan! You've done a great job capturing both their styles and the Vault Boy style all in one

Hey, I have restrained myself from making any Yuri characters and infecting the RP with it's scourge, I expect some appreciation! 

By the way, I forgot to share this at the time, but here is Fallout cartoon Gregory as drawn by Witch.

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1 minute ago, Centurion said:

But this is fr fr how balrog views all his characters :rofl:

To be fair, his only Fallout character is like a 45 year old cancer patient. XD And Avitus is a hateful cuss of a Legionary.

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It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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1 hour ago, BigBossBalrog said:

Hey, I have restrained myself from making any Yuri characters and infecting the RP with it's scourge, I expect some appreciation! 

Sending appreciation.

Bustin Nuts and Grabbin Butts :letsgo: Spent Brass, Eatin Ass

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11 hours ago, BigBossBalrog said:

Hey, I have restrained myself from making any Yuri characters and infecting the RP with it's scourge, I expect some appreciation! 

Even Colonel thanked you. XD 

It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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BT

I really liked how you wrote the scene with Clara and Lawrence. Seeing him from the POV of a very perceptive stranger was interesting, as she was able to pick up on so much about him just from one short talk. And I like how she was able to detect all the clues he put off about being a no bullshit kind of guy. Even the one time that he lied, it was practically honest. XD 

Normally when someone makes a shady plan like hers to have his things searched when he’s unaware, I get a little nervous that it will go badly and create a conflict. But I’ve got a feeling Clara and her people are competent enough to do it at a safe time and make sure everything looks like it did before when they’re done. I’m all for her taking the risk. Those pictures could be very helpful. 

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It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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19 minutes ago, The Good Doctor said:

BT

 

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I really liked how you wrote the scene with Clara and Lawrence. Seeing him from the POV of a very perceptive stranger was interesting, as she was able to pick up on so much about him just from one short talk. And I like how she was able to detect all the clues he put off about being a no bullshit kind of guy. Even the one time that he lied, it was practically honest. XD 

Normally when someone makes a shady plan like hers to have his things searched when he’s unaware, I get a little nervous that it will go badly and create a conflict. But I’ve got a feeling Clara and her people are competent enough to do it at a safe time and make sure everything looks like it did before when they’re done. I’m all for her taking the risk. Those pictures could be very helpful. 

If you like conversations with perceptive strangers, just you wait until my final post of the Halloween stuff ;) 

And thank you! It was fun writing him from a perspective pretty similar to his with regards to perception. I look forward to doing the reverse pretty soon, with a conversation between them but from Lawrence’s POV. Which should be interesting since he’s even more perceptive but she’s much better at hiding things than he is. 

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Clara's post

I knew from that you had told me that Clara was in with the rebels but it was interesting seeing how much. Especially seeing how much effort she put into making an entire hidden section of her hotel. She looks be in quite deep with their cause. 

Her talk was with Lawrence was somewhat interesting. Though I can't help but feel that Clara is overestimating her ability to read people. Mostly because she states it so openly. Something it looks like Lawrence also feels. It will be interesting to see how he views her. 

I'm also with Doc in that I'm curious to if she'll find and what she'll do with those incriminating pictures. 

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Power corrupts, absolute power... is a whole lot of fun!

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22 minutes ago, Witchking of Angmar said:

Clara's post

 

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I knew from that you had told me that Clara was in with the rebels but it was interesting seeing how much. Especially seeing how much effort she put into making an entire hidden section of her hotel. She looks be in quite deep with their cause. 

Her talk was with Lawrence was somewhat interesting. Though I can't help but feel that Clara is overestimating her ability to read people. Mostly because she states it so openly. Something it looks like Lawrence also feels. It will be interesting to see how he views her. 

I'm also with Doc in that I'm curious to if she'll find and what she'll do with those incriminating pictures. 

I think she’s just not as modest about it as Lawrence is. Though he’s arguably better at it, which is something she probably doesn’t realize, so in that sense she’s overestimating her own ability. Or underestimating Lawrence’s. But you’re right that he’s skeptical and suspicious about her, at the moment. 

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On the Richard and Aly post

 

Richard and Aly sitting in a tree... XD 

I really like how their relationship is developing, though given how we’ve seen almost all of it from Richard’s point of view, I’m curious if the reader’s perspective of their relationship would change if we saw it from her’s. I will say Richard has got more game than I expected, though I expect Aly is gonna catch him checking folks out at some point, given he seems to do so pretty often XD 

Felicia needs to F off, though I did like Isabelle’s return. I think she and Richard and Aly could be good friends. Though I wonder how close Aly is gonna allow herself to get to any of these folks given her family’s rebel affiliations. 

This was a fun post, especially the little bits of word building like how into the Halloween festival everyone gets with their costumes. I loved the detail about the trickers. The ending caught me off guard a bit, with what almost happened to Isabelle. Hopefully Mr. Hudson meets with an accident soon... 

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3 minutes ago, BTC said:

though I expect Aly is gonna get catch him folks out at some point

I can’t for the life of me figure out what this was supposed to mean. XD 

It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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18 minutes ago, BTC said:

On the Richard and Aly post

Richard and Aly sitting in a tree... XD 

I really like how their relationship is developing, though given how we’ve seen almost all of it from Richard’s point of view, I’m curious if the reader’s perspective of their relationship would change if we saw it from her’s. I will say Richard has got more game than I expected, though I expect Aly is gonna get catch him checking folks out at some point, given he seems to do so pretty often XD 

Felicia needs to F off, though I did like Isabelle’s return. I think she and Richard and Aly could be good friends. Though I wonder how close Aly is gonna allow herself to get to any of these folks given her family’s rebel affiliations. 

This was a fun post, especially the little bits of word building like how into the Halloween festival everyone gets with their costumes. I loved the detail about the trickers. The ending caught me off guard a bit, with what almost happened to Isabelle. Hopefully Mr. Hudson meets with an accident soon... 

Then the tree caught fire... 

I don't expect their romantic relationship to be long lived. Though it could be interesting to see if and how it plays out in later interactions between the two.

Richard is also just rather observant. :P 

I'm afraid Hudson is gonna stick around, unharmed, for the foreseeable future. He's a powerful man with powerful friends. 

Edited by Witchking of Angmar

Power corrupts, absolute power... is a whole lot of fun!

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2 minutes ago, Witchking of Angmar said:
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Then the tree caught fire... 

I don't expect their romantic relationship to be long lived. Though it could be interesting to see if and how it plays out in later interactions between the two.

That’s interesting, since it seems like it’s only progressing at this point. Enough for Aly to feel jealous when Felicia hit on Richard. The only possible source of tension I picked up on was when Richard told her to stand up straight since they were at the fancy party. I don’t expect Aly is someone looking to change who she is to fit into high society. 

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1 minute ago, BTC said:

That’s interesting, since it seems like it’s only progressing at this point. Enough for Aly to feel jealous when Felicia hit on Richard. The only possible source of tension I picked up on was when Richard told her to stand up straight since they were at the fancy party. I don’t expect Aly is someone looking to change who she is to fit into high society. 

I'm thinking from the perspective of the rebel conflict. Richard has no intentions of really getting involved in that and I kinda expect Aly on the other hand to get so involved with it that it will take precedence over any personal relationships she has. 

Power corrupts, absolute power... is a whole lot of fun!

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12 minutes ago, Witchking of Angmar said:

Richard is also just rather observant. :P 

So is Aly, for that matter. Highest perception of any of my characters. XD 

And yeah, I imagine the upcoming war will probably throw a lot of wrenches in a lot of relationships. 

It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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5 minutes ago, The Good Doctor said:
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So is Aly, for that matter. Highest perception of any of my characters. XD 

And yeah, I imagine the upcoming war will probably throw a lot of wrenches in a lot of relationships. 

Though I figure observation is as tied to perception as it is to intellect. I remember in NV that you can only spot the act of that bodyguard the King wants gone if you have high enough intellect. 

Power corrupts, absolute power... is a whole lot of fun!

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7 minutes ago, Witchking of Angmar said:

Though I figure observation is as tied to perception as it is to intellect. I remember in NV that you can only spot the act of that bodyguard the King wants gone if you have high enough intellect. 

True. And in that department, she’s pretty much average, and it’s more wit and a survivalit’s sort of savviness than traditional smarts. I’d say that how observant she’s being would depend on how alert she is in the context.

It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

On Balrog’s post

John may be a curmudgeonly old man sometimes, but it’s nice to see he has a bit of a soft spot for the kids. Handing out toothpaste was pretty funny and not what I expected from a post apocalyptic Halloween. The story he told, on the other hand, is exactly the sort of terrifying shit I’d expect. You did a good job making that scary. I also enjoyed the crazy preacher character in his brief appearance. 

I’m looking forward to seeing more of John and where his past with the Brotherhood takes him as the rebel and BoS conflict heats up. Good post Balrog!

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"A Werewolf...with an eyepatch (What kind of Werewolf wears a fucking Eye Patch?!)"

:rofl: Not gonna lie, this got a good laugh out of me. Nice Lorgar reference.

It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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Just a heads up

I was going to consult with one of your for lore authenticity but I put that little bit, "Why would I lie to you?" to give the implication he may have been heavily embellishing things 

XD So if something didn't fit lore wise, he probably made it up. 

 

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I figured as much. I'm still reading but so far, for the most part none of it really strikes me as lore breaking. You were vague enough on their location and whatnot that this could've been anywhere, and it's all a story so who knows how much is really true? XD 

I'm enjoying it so far. We've had posts set on Halloween, but this is a Halloween post. Scary lake monsters, people getting eaten, and shit. The Wild Man was my favorite. Too bad he died the worst. :lol: 

It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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@BigBossBalrog

Finished. That was a very fun read. :thumbup: The stuff with the kids made Edmonton much more endearing than he was before, and the story itself was awesome. The action was tense and fun to read, the monsters were scary, and the way you described it all was really vivid and well-written. Good stuff, Balrog.

It's always nice when your writing gets reinforced by the canon after you come up with it.

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