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Soulsborne Thread #7 (And Sekiro and Elden Ring and other shiet)


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Like that’s saying anything.  If I knew GRRM’s phone number, I could probably get him to help write the RPs. As long as it’s not Winds.

Just tell him about Colonel's foot fetish and he'll be all there 

You cant be the black knight  Thats like... black face or sum

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  • 2 weeks later...

Pence: “Donald, I've come to bid you farewell.”

Trump: “Oh, I know, I know. You think now, to betray me.”

Pence:“No, but you will never listen. I tell you, I will not forget our adage.”

Trump: “...We are born of the blood, made men by the blood, undone by the blood. Our eyes are yet to open..."

Trump  & Pence: "Fear the old blood."

Pence: “I must take my leave.”

Ttrump: “By the gods, fear it, Mike."

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Just now, TheCzarsHussar said:

Holy fuck the new version of Cinders took things from zero to a thousand.

I already beat (minus the ringed city) the game on the last version but this new one just revamped legit everything. 

Bruh.

It's fucking trash XD

*There's an NPC named Glaive Master Hodir and he drops the "Elden Ring" 

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16 minutes ago, BigBossBalrog said:

Pence: “Donald, I've come to bid you farewell.”

Trump: “Oh, I know, I know. You think now, to betray me.”

Pence:“No, but you will never listen. I tell you, I will not forget our adage.”

Trump: “...We are born of the blood, made men by the blood, undone by the blood. Our eyes are yet to open..."

Trump  & Pence: "Fear the old blood."

Pence: “I must take my leave.”

Ttrump: “By the gods, fear it, Mike."

This doesn’t work because Trump fears nothing

"Even the hardest dick must go flaccid." -Colonelkillabee

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So I've spent about seven months replaying all of the FROMSOFT Souls games from release order (Alas, i'm not like Czar in that I can do a Souls binge and play all of them in a couple of weeks XD) Why? Because I wanted to test my mettle against the series toughest bosses, to see if I really was no longer a PVE scrub. And because I enjoy playing the game. So I recently finished D3, which was the last one (I aint considering Sekiro, even though I recently did a 100 playthrough), and i'm going to qualify something as "tough" in that it killed me more then two times. 

Tough

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Nameless Dragon Fucker.

I died to him exactly three times, so I decided to count him. The first phase is pretty much a breeze (wait till he does his big outward fire attack and punish the Stormdrake's head), but the Second Stage will always be intimidating (especially with the cutscene) I beat him as soon as I realized when it was safe to attack (after he did his combos) and his lighting easy to avoid. WAY easier then I remember. 

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Shin Dragonzilla.

Died five times. Whilst I still very much appreciate the fight for it's lore, presentation, and how fucking awesome Midir is, I'm actually learning towards Doctor's lukewarm opinion on him. If he had a little less health I would appreciate him more. The problem is he combines a huge amount of oneshot attacks (about fucking half), with a huge amount of health, and you cant make a single mistake. That being said, he telegraphs all of his attacks. The way I beat him was not being greedy, and just attack when I absolutely knew it was safe to do so. It was grind. It's challenging, but not in the right way.  Kalmeet and Sinn are way better fights.  

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Artorias as a horse...thing. 

Died to ole Ludwig about fours times. I still absolutely love this fight, and it's my favorite in the game. Presentation is top notch ("My guiding Moonlight..."), fight is tough but fair, and each phase is basically so different it's fighting two bosses in one. First Phase is honestly more stress fully then the second, in which he fights like a Beast enemy, alot of screeching, jumping, massive amounts of combos. Just get in there, and punish. Second phase he goes fucking Artorias, and starts throwing sword beams, waves of explosive power, and mundane strikes, easier to manage, but if you get caught by his attacks he will crush you.

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Rule 64 Gywn 

Died to her about 8 times. Again, I realized the key to beating her was a mixture of methodical and lighting fast attacks. First Phase-Slow, Second Phase-Fast, Third Phase-Slow. In both the first and third phase, I would just slowly let her attack me, before comboing her with a stunlock or a backstab, and in the second, I just rushed to the Father and attacked him with everything I had. I rationed my Estus, and was able to beat them without much effort when I mastered their movesets and knew when it was perfect to attack. Basically the boss fight is one with attrition. 

Never mastered 

Pro Choice people's worst nightmare 

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Died about 12 times to this fucker. I still consider my win against him luck, cause I made extensive usage of my fucking cannon and items to actually beat him.  The boss fight is brutal, even to me. First phase is difficult, but once he activates his magic placea, he becomes a nightmare to fight. Faster and more hard hitting then any boss in the game, he also has a huge amount of health. I beat him not by learning his moveset, by simply reacting to his movements in the moment, I still don't know the best way to kill him, and I was left with no ammo and a single blood vial when I finally did. You have to gut gud enough to beat him. 

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The OG Darklord. 

Died to him about 10 times. Again, I will never be comfortable with fighting him. He combines everything terrifying in a Bloodborne boss, with a magic user. You have to worry about super fast speeds, chain combos that cannot be blocked, being bludgeoned with his "wand" or his fists, as well as his abyss magic, that manifests as super huge AOE attack of sprites, and you have a split second to react because of how fast his telegraphs are. 

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I beat him by not bothering with a shield, losing my armor, and just learning to Iframe away, and to only attack when I was clear to do so. It's very constricting, and even on my run in which I got him, I never felt at ease when facing him down. 

Some other bosses that were challenging, but I never died too were Gael (I was really surprised by this, cause I remember him being alot harder), Fume Knight, Sinn, Kalmeet, Gywn (I don't really parry in these games) Flame Lurker, and the False King. 

I'm curious to see how everyone else's tough bosses compares to mine.  

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I disagree on some of the approaches mentioned but that’s very dependent on fighting style. I do agree with the list though. And it’s funny since for me I can now consistently kill Dragon Fucker in two turns but blonde Leliana in hentai clock tower still fucks me up. In fact I died more to her than I did Planned Parenthood’s mascot 

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"Even the hardest dick must go flaccid." -Colonelkillabee

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5 minutes ago, ColonelKillaBee said:

I disagree on some of the approaches mentioned but that’s very dependent on fighting style. I do agree with the list though. And it’s funny since for me I can now consistently kill Dragon Fucker in two turns but blonde Leliana in hentai clock tower still fucks me up. In fact I died more to her than I did Planned Parenthood’s mascot 

Maria :rofl: Now don't insult her by calling her Leliana XD She'd eat that airhead for breakfeast. 

But alot of people i've talked too either consider her one of the easiest fights in the DLC, and others the absolute hardest. She's super polarizing, so I guess it depends on how you play. 

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Good job Balrog, now fight Colonel.

I understand Orphan and Ludwig on the list but Manus? Manus was only hard for me the first time I played Ds1(r), make sure you have a fast roll and just be patient. Oh and silver talisman is a must. Fast weapon, slow weapon, doesn't matter. Just gotta bait him out.

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Just now, TheCzarsHussar said:

Good job Balrog, now fight Colonel.

I understand Orphan and Ludwig on the list but Manus? Manus was only hard for me the first time I played Ds1(r), make sure you have a fast roll and just be patient. Oh and silver talisman is a must. Fast weapon, slow weapon, doesn't matter. Just gotta bait him out.

Whenever he does his wombo combo I just freak out and I hide behind my shield like a bitch XD It's just the utterly alien combination of being a monster, having powerful spellcasting, and being lighting quick, as well as having alot of health that makes me queasy. 

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8 minutes ago, ColonelKillaBee said:

I disagree on some of the approaches mentioned but that’s very dependent on fighting style. I do agree with the list though. And it’s funny since for me I can now consistently kill Dragon Fucker in two turns but blonde Leliana in hentai clock tower still fucks me up. In fact I died more to her than I did Planned Parenthood’s mascot 

Bruh I died to Horsefuck Valley plenty more times then Maria. By the time I got to her, took me around four or five attempts (without parries, fuck yall for that :P) to beat her. Fist of Gratia hits her out of most animations.

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